WHAT'S THE FIRST STEP IN REALIZING YOU'RE A BADASS? SELF LOVE.

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When I first read You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero I made sure the cover was hidden – it’s bright yellow color and bold font screaming out to be noticed. I felt like I was admitting something about myself by having this book – that if anyone were to see me with it I’d be caught and my insecurities would be exposed and/or I’d be judged for buying into the BS of the self-help world, very likely what I would have done upon noticing someone with the book. I don’t remember what finally pushed me to purchase the Badass book, but I do know I made sure to order it from Amazon so I wouldn’t have to come face to face with a sales clerk.

It’s been almost two years since You are a Badass arrived at my doorstep, and since then I’ve read it several times and I am constantly referring back to it for words of encouragement or some of Sincero’s signature tough talk to help me put things in perspective. As you can see by the picture to the right I was so excited by this book, I purchased several copies (as well as her other book You are a Badass at Making Money) to give to friends and relatives. Amazon even started sending me emails asking if I was a business owner and would I like to join their program for buying the book in bulk for resale...I thought about it.

I’ve been known to talk effusively about the various ways in which this book has impacted my life – everything from changing the way I talk to myself and writing in a gratitude journal every morning to impacting the way I think about God and money. I’ve underlined and starred so many passages that sometimes I think I may as well underline the whole thing. The most important takeaway for me, however, has been realizing the importance of practicing self-love.

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Sincero ends every chapter with a sort of to-do list and the last to-do on each list is to love yourself, I believe, making the point that all other efforts to live the life you dream of living will be in vain if you don’t love yourself. Self-love is not something I’ve practiced in my life and what’s more, it’s not something I felt to be important – the idea of it felt self-absorbed, conceited, and just plain stupid. In my mind, I was supposed to be in constant criticism of myself, never was I supposed to feel that I thought I was awesome, let alone put a conscious effort into loving myself. I don’t know where this way of thinking came from (well, maybe I kind of do). It makes me sad to look back on my life and see that I never made self-love a priority, and more than that how I in turn negatively affected the people around me. For me, self-love and my belief in its importance didn’t come overnight, in fact, I’m cringing a bit as I write this paragraph, but I just keep working on it no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

Speaking of uncomfortable, I’ll just go ahead and put all my cards on the table and say that I also write affirmations in my journal every morning (never thought I’d be writing those words). I have a few favorites but this is my current favorite (recommended by Jen Sincero).

I deserve and expect good things.

It seems so simple but for those of us who’ve spent our lives believing that no one really deserves anything; it’s very powerful. You can use it too. Write it down. Say it out loud. Believe it. And if you’re feeling like you could use a little talking to about loving yourself and getting over your own BS then I highly recommend you pick up a copy of this book (or order it from Amazon so no one will see you).  

“Love Yourself. Because it’s the Holy Grail of Happiness” - Jen Sincero

P.S. Had I read this book a few years earlier I’m pretty sure I would have disregarded it as complete BS. Sincero’s brand of delivery isn’t for everyone nor is her message. While some might read it and be offended by the perceived suggestion that all one has to do is “raise their frequency” to get the life they want, others (like myself) will read it and see the ways in which gratitude, self-love, and paying attention to what we focus our thoughts on can drastically change the way we go through life. So I suggest you take what you need and leave the rest and if there’s nothing there for you, don’t ruin it for everyone else.