IT'S NOT YOU PNW, IT'S ME.

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I’m going to just be real with you about my feelings concerning winter and spring in the PNW...it’s rough. As you may have read in my previous posts, I tried to put my best foot forward this winter and embrace the seasons as well as employ some new tactics to try to thrive and not just survive. I took vitamin D. I bought an alarm clock that simulates the sunrise. I  made sure to get outside despite the weather. I tried to stop talking about the weather so much — some of these tactics may have been easier for me to employ than others. While I do believe these things have helped, I’ve just accepted the fact that I am truly my best self when the sun is out and the skies are blue.

Aside from the fact that the month of March began with snowfall, the weather has been pretty moderate, and I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining too much about the weather we’ve had since then. We’ve had several days in the 60s and 70s (yippee!) and what’s seemed like blue skies every few days. While that’s all great, here’s why I’m writing this now. Yesterday (or I should say the day before I wrote this) it was gray all day long. ALL. DAY. LONG. Not just a little bit gray but the heavy gray that feels as though it’s settled all around you, closing in on you, and as the day goes on you begin to believe that perhaps blue skies do not exist. Listen, I’m fine with a little spring rain, but by this time of year the days of heavy gray skies really bum me out.

The morning after this particular day of gray the cloud cover was gone by 9 a.m., the birds were chirping, the sun was out, and I felt like I was capable of ALL THINGS! Fold all the laundry? Sounds like a plan! Work on the blog? You bet! Workout? Hell yeah! Walk the dog? My pleasure! Bake an apple pie and some chocolate chip cookies just for the hell of it? Why the hell not!

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Whereas the day before (the day of gray), I dragged myself to my exercise class and then drug myself home and sat on the bathtub floor with the hot shower water running over me while I contemplated my purpose in life (not necessarily reserved for gray days but definitely more likely). I felt tired, incapable of accomplishing anything, and uninspired. When I’m in this state, I’m aware enough to realize I feel like this in large part due to the gray skies, and I know there are things I could do to attempt to pull myself out of it, but some days it just doesn’t work. Some days the gray is all consuming and leads to endless loop of feeling I’m incapable of accomplishing anything so I might as well get in bed for the rest of the day.

This is just how it is for me. I just don’t do well with the gray. It’s not you PNW, it’s me.

While I often joke with my friends and family about having seasonal affective disorder (appropriately called SAD), it’s no joke. The struggle is real. And don’t even get me started on how the time changes eff with me for weeks on end.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the rain (especially after living in California with three years in a row of drought) and the fact that it makes the PNW as beautiful as it is, but I could just do with a little less gray…okay, and a little less rain. I’ll keep fall and I can deal with most of the spring season (as long as we get these sunny days mixed in + all the pretty flowers), and obviously, I love the summer, but perhaps I’ll just skip winter. And could we also just do away with the time changes while we’re at it?

I do realize there’s a certain amount of the grass is always greener that goes along with my desire to be somewhere with less gray, that if I lived someplace like Hawaii I’d likely get sick of the sun and long for the seasons. My sister-in-law, who lived in Brazil full time for over a decade, once told me that while living there she’d wake up and think, “It’s another fucking sunny day.”

In conclusion, I’ve decided it would be best if I could live in the PNW April (or maybe May) through December and then take off to Hawaii or any place warm for the remainder of the year. Who’s with me?

In the meantime, mini-adventures and podcasts are keeping my spirits up. Here’s few pictures of some mini-adventures over the past few weeks (note the sunshine) and a few podcast recommendations.

Podcasts:

Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Conversations - Cynthia Bond: “Ruby” (An Oprah’s Book Club Selection)

Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Conversations - Shawn Achor: The Life-Altering Power of a Positive Mind

Dear Sugars - Episodes We Love: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?


Mini-Adventures :
(click through the pics if you like)

Update: Posting this a couple of weeks after having written it and we are now in the midst of a two week stretch of rain. April showers bring May flowers, right? *sob*

At least the little sunshine peaking out from behind the cloud for next Thursday is giving me hope.

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